happy-tealife

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

JgpnXYz

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Premature optimization is the root of all evil.

Premature optimization is the root of all evil.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

RpSbUcva

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

I am not young enough to know everything.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

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Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

wYHVPDa

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?